Miss Lonelyhearts

Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You're almost as bad as the girlfriend you're covering for

By: Miss Lonelyhearts

Posted: 02/9/2012 1:00 AM | Comments: 0 (including replies)

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When a fun, generous friend who's married to a wonderful, hard-working, successful (albeit somewhat heavy) guy, had a lengthy affair -- we girlfriends covered for her. When she was caught in a compromising situation, we kept it to ourselves. When she was chasing a prominent businessman, we secretly laughed at her tenacity. Finally, when we heard her making plans to meet up this summer at a relative's wedding with a guy she met on a holiday, we confronted her. We thought she heard our concerns, but later she callously told us that she likes to keep her husband heavy so he stays faithful. We are torn on what to do. Although we enjoy her company and the opportunity to share in their extravagant lifestyle, we are concerned about her lack of regard for her husband's health. Since talking to her doesn't seem to alter her mindset, should we tell her husband? Would it be better to tell him anonymously? -- Our Girl Gone Wild, Winnipeg

Dear Wild: Frankly, except for the husband, you are all users. You used your wealthy pal's "generosity" for years while you listened with amusement to her cheating stories, and even covered for her. Where was your conscience then? In your letter, littered with identifying details and sent by snail mail, you try to use my column to "out" your girlfriend and tell the story to her husband, hoping she won't know which girlfriend did it. I took out those telling details. Now you say you're at the breaking point because she says she likes to keep her husband fat, so he's off the cheating market. Yes, someone does needs to tell this poor guy -- in person. But, you will have to be stronger than you've ever been before. His first question is going to be. "Why now? Why did you wait and listen while she cheated on me all over all these years?" Your answer can only be, "I'm so sorry." You will also have to face down his wife. Then make a change in yourself. Save up for your own luxuries, if you need them so badly. And, paste this guideline on your dash: If you want to know where you're at in life, check out who you're with.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a late 30s individual who has not left the nest. I know this is not the norm, because when most people find out, I'm ridiculed and made to feel like I should be shot and dragged down the street in shame. I'm employed full-time, help out financially and don't think my parents mind. Lately though, I have been feeling like a burden and wondering what could have been if I left home at 18 and had not been afraid to face the real world. My sibling left at 24, got a university education, travelled the world and has a home and family. I've been in denial. But now, I feel like a failure for not being like everyone else. I would like to hear from others in my situation. -- Failure to Launch or Just a Failure? Winnipeg

Dear Failure to Launch: Start shopping for houses and condos, and saving like crazy. If you want company, look at co-ops where people live together in a big house and share expenses and take turns with cooking dinners. You could also buy a house with a few bedrooms and rent them out to students. Either way, you're free to have a love life. Right now, you can't bring anyone home and have private times. Staying with the parents gives you a built-in excuse for a poor social life. If you can't launch on your own, see a counsellor or psychologist, face your fears, and build the backbone to finally get out of the nest. Good news! It's fun once you're out and start having people over for dinners and parties. You can still visit the parents, but don't overdo that as they might be wanting some privacy, at long last.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 9, 2012 D5

(You must be logged in to post your reaction)

Your reaction?

More Miss Lonelyhearts

Undock

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is register and/or login and you can join the conversation and give your feedback.

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010; View the changes. New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.